I can’t tell you how free and wonderful I felt pushing under the cool blue water of the pool. Weightless in every sense. The water glided over my bikini clad body effortlessly and I wondered why I had denied myself this? And as I sat on a towel letting the sun dry me, I looked around the busy public pool. There were people of all ages, all body types, in all kinds of swimwear and all busy doing their own stuff. I had the second freeing thought of the day. I realised that not one of them cared about my body and even if they did, it wouldn’t make me feel bad.
When I decided to try and swim weekly this summer at the local outdoor pool I knew I’d need some stuff. You know, a beach towel and a bag to carry it in and something to wear. The towels and bag and sunscreen were pretty easy to procure but I still needed something to wear. Last year I watched a very inspiring Plus Swimwear & Bikini Lookbook video from Cora at Vintage or Tacky and I KNEW I wanted a bikini. And I bet you’ll want one too, after you have seen it! And she has more swimwear and other clothing vids too.
Get A Perfect Fit
Since Mum and I were in this swimming plan together, we both hit the shops for some swimwear. Mum is a standard size and wanted a tankini with an underwire. It all seemed simple enough, until we got to the shops! We hit Target, Kmart, Big W, surf shops. Nothing was working. We went online and bought things, many were returned. I had a pair of black bikini bottoms and out of desperation bought a too small black bikini top. Mum bought something passable and we had our first swim! Mum picked up a few pairs online and she is all set. As a side note, my Sister came with us swimwear shopping a couple of times. She has a tattoo on her arm that she always hides and she works with kids. She needed something to wear to take the kids swimming. So while I was buying teeny bikinis, she bought a high neck & long sleeve rashie and boardshorts.
Nothing fitted me and I knew what I had to do. I ordered two bikini tops from the people who make my bras, Freya, even though they were more expensive. They took a while to come but are perfect! I mix and match them with some bikini bottoms I bought online (where the top was a bad fit). Getting that perfect fit made such a difference to my confidence! No worry that a boob would pop out when I came up for air, no worry that my pants would fall down. No underwater drag that makes my top pull down, just free movement and comfort. It really is worth shopping around and paying for. I found some great place to buy swim wear for all sizes, including plus size and bigger cup options. I’ll link below.
Get Outside & See
It can be really easy to sit at home and judge yourself. Now, we all know that comparison is the thief of joy but it can also bring comfort. I follow a lot of body positive women on Instagram. Women who will show their bodies, in all their glory and with all their flaws, to prove that EVERY body is beautiful and worthy. If you see a wide range of bodies and shapes and sizes regularly, you start to change your ideas about what a body should look like and start to see what they do look like. I am massively empowered by these women (I’ll put a few links below). And that’s why I’m sharing my bikini body.
I think Mum was mostly focused on her own body and how she looked but I knew she was slightly hesitant about me wearing a bikini. She never said anything but she comes from a time where visible bra straps were a bit out there (yes Mum, I made you look old and judgemental but it’s for a good cause). But when we got to the pool and there was all sorts of bodies and stuff going on, she looked around and apologised for not backing me 1000000% because I looked sensational! Also, what seemed revealing at home, is perfectly at home at the pool.
In her own words mum said “We were in the middle in terms of age and size. There were people there who were just there to swim. There were people with physical impairments and difficulties, just there wanting to swim. And I saw how vain and wrong I was to worry about it. People weren’t sneaking sideways glances to compare, they were there to enjoy the water. From the wrinkly brown elderly men to the toddler in a life jacket to the pregnant woman shushing her older baby into the water. How self-centred must I be to think about if my body was okay?”
Outside Perspectives
Even if people are thinking things, it might not be what you think. My teenage niece and her friend came in while I was writing this, I was watching the video from Vintage or Tacky I mentioned before. My niece can be judgemental AF and is that kind of impossible skinny yet curvy that is only possible at that age. She often comments on my outfits and it’s a mix of compliments and criticism. But she said “Are you going to do a bikini thing? Coz you should, you look good”. And then she points at my screen and says “She looks great in that, inspiring AF”. So, don’t always think the worst! Someone could be thinking how great you look!
Bravery Is Rewarded
It might be scary to wear a bikini or a one piece or a rash shirt and shorts. I know because it was a bit uncomfortable for me at first too. But I was hot and the water was inviting and once I was in, that was it! It was about how much fun I could have, how many underwater handstands I could manage and what my body can do! I think you should know that I am part mermaid and swimming in the sun is my natural habitat. If I can offer one really, really, really good reason to get in the water this year it’s this – you deserve the fun! The sheer joy of being in the water on a hot day. Be with your kids, go to water parks, swim in the ocean, body surf a wave, splash! You will never be as amazing as you are today and no one wants to look back at the years where they missed out because of a silly thing like the shape of your body! And you are never to old, either. I am 38 and Mum is 63 and the other day at the pool there was an 82 year old lady doing her first underwater handstand after breaking a hip and an arm. Please don’t miss out on fun!
#Summer of Body Love
It’s not all bikinis and swimming. I bought this cute little playsuit in the op shop and on those hot days, I’ll be wearing it. I love the tropical motif and there has to be something cool to wear when its 40C plus out. They have that tulip overlap thing with the shorts, so they are potentially scandalous. I haven’t worn a skirt or shorts this short since I was a teenager but while I’m feeling brave, I thought I should go there. Mum took pics and I was shocked! My legs are nice and my butt is so cute and round! And it’s comfy and cool and hell!
My Mum took all of these photos for me (Thanks Mum!) as she always does. She’s a great photographer but she’s no pro, I just hand her my phone and ask her to snap away. They day we took these pics was overcast but it was a scorching 39C out there. We respect the privacy of others and since the pool is pretty busy, we decided the beach was the best place for photos. I have deliberately chosen to put them up here 100% unfiltered. Wearing a bikini means that my stomach sees some sun and despite my best efforts with sunscreen, I have browned. My once unnoticeable stretch marks shine out more now. And you may notice that I leave my armpit hair to do it’s own thing. I find shaving and waxing painful and just stopped. There’s a nice Instagram term for hairy underarms that love, they call them ‘kitten pits’! I’m pretty sure no one cares, even my husband.
I’m really pleased that I have built up the confidence to share these pics with you. I’m sure you are thinking something along the lines of “I could never do that” but you could surprise yourself. Trust me, no one feels awesome about their body all the time. But is worth breaking through the self-doubt and criticism to enjoy the summer. Whatever that means for you, wearing something cool or getting a swimsuit on and getting in the water. I hope that this post has made you see things differently. Maybe you can take a holiday from the body worry and enjoy your beautiful self! I’ve put loads of links for you check out below and I hope you find your body positive spirit animal there xxxx
Outfit Details
- Playsuit – Thrifted from Salvos but originally City Chic
- Shoes – BAIT Footwear (reviewed here)
- Bangles & Earrings – Thifted
- Sunglasses – Tempt a few years back
- Bikini Top – Freya brand Deco Plunge style in 38G UK
- Bikini Bottoms – Target in size 18
- Headband, Towels & Beach Bag – Kmart
Body Positive Instagram Accounts
- Cora from Vintage or Tacky @vintageortacky
- Hayley Angell @hayleyangell
- Missi from Curve Creation @curvecreation
- Fran from Frantasy Island @frantasy_island
- Lisa from Mustang Sally Two @mustangsallytwo
- Cailey from Darling I Know @darlingiknow
- Plus size model London Andrews @londonandrews
- Plus size model Jenny Rieu @jennyrieu
- Plus size model Tess Holliday @tessholliday
Where To Buy Swimwear
- City Chic (I’ve linked to the AU site but there is US version too)
- Curvy Swimwear (Australian but ships worldwide)
- Swimsuits For All (US but ships worldwide)
- Torrid (US but ships worldwide)
2 Comments
Great post. I recently wanted to buy a very simple onepiece black suit for pool swimming – looked high and low and finally found what I wanted on the Land’s End site. And it was cheaper than what was available locally (which was all body support stuff… yuck). Cheers
Yes! It can be so difficult to find good swimwear and I’m glad you found the right thing in the end. Thanks for letting us know xx