It occurred to me that my lovely readers aren’t all in Adelaide to experience the crazy heat we are having today. Hell, some of you are on the other side of the world where it’s cold right now and have no idea what a hot Christmas is like. Let me set the scene….
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It’s 43C in the shade here today (that’s 109.4F). It so blistering hot! And dry (10% humidity) too but I guess I’m in the driest state, in the driest continent in the world, what else can I expect? Smart people will be at home in the comfort of the air conditioner but the rest of us are out running errands or Christmas shopping. The car park of Marion (our largest shopping mall) is chock a block, all glittery in the harsh bright light and shimmering with heat haze. Marion is open 36 hours straight, from opening this morning to close tomorrow night. Mummy Ask lives near by and experience says it will stay this busy throughout, despite the high temperatures. I was talking with Mummy Ask about writing this post in the car. Wanting to share the Australian-ness of this heat and had to pause to point out a large blue tongued lizard basking on the road. As we laugh about how fitting the lizard was, a sulfur crested cockatoo dips low in front of the car. Only yesterday, the Bestie showed me a pic of the big blue tongue she found near the clothes line. All right in the middle of suburbia. EDIT: Just heard this story from The Bestie – Her sister opened the door for a package and a big blue tongue ran in and curled up in a big water dish and doesn’t want to leave. Quite lucky that they keep reptiles and are okay with it!
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So now you get the idea, here are a few things that we think are typical of a Aussie Christmas.
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- Getting into your car and having your legs seared by leather or vinyl (and to a lesser extent fabric) seats.
- Getting a treatable burn from the metal clasp on the seat belt.
- Putting your groceries in chiller bags and racing directly home.
- Giving or receiving chocolates that have clearly been melted at some point.
- Having a laundry/bathroom/cool spot full of boxed chocolates/plants/flowers in the hope of keeping them alive long enough to give as gifts.
- Taking an esky (cooler/ice box) of ice and drinks to every function.
- An electricity bill that looks like the US national debt as a consequence of air conditioning. Hey, we have some of the most expensive energy bills in the world per unit.
- Living in the dark with the blinds and windows closed to keep the sun off. Opening the blinds in the cool of the night and getting up super early to close the blinds, water the garden and walk the dog.
- Having the oven and the aircon do battle while you bake.
- Trying to find fridge room for ordinary items that you might leave out in more normal temps as well a the extra Christmas stuff.
- Freezing takeout plastic containers half filled with water and topping it up in the morning for your pets to drink.
- Rolling blackouts in heat waves. Always perfectly timed for when you have something in the oven, a load of washing on or when you have guests.
- Putting the washing on the line and by the time you have it all on the line you can start taking it off again. Or forgetting stuff on the line for a couple of hours and having it fade irretrievably.
- Having lippies melt in you handbag when you leave it outside with you too long.
- Sunscreen and sand in everything.
- Changing BBQ plans due to fire restrictions.
- Having the self adhesive gift labels and rosettes pop off the presents in the heat.
- A cheese platter that becomes a greasy, bacterial mess in moments.
- Struggling to make truffles, cookies with chilled dough, pastry items work in your hot kitchen.
- Finding that no where has any ice left to buy.
- Flies, so freaking many flies. And mosquitos.
- Summers greatest hits – “Shut the fridge, your making it warm”, “Is that air conditioner on”, “Shut the door, you’re letting the heat in”, “What’s the temperature in here now” and “You’re not going to put the oven on are you?”, “Surely you’re not wearing that? I don’t care, it’s too hot”, “Let me have some of that fan too”.
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I hope everyone got a little laugh out of this post. And for my overseas friends, I hope this was an insight. When you see an Aussie posting about their full traditional, cooked Christmas meals, please give them extra points for effort! And perhaps you’ll forgive the more casual Aussie Christmas of cold meat or BBQ and salad, served with a cold beer. Most of us have our sweaty hair up, sunscreen but no makeup and whatever cool thing we found to throw on. If you’ve been silently judging our famed causal lifestyle, I guess it probably makes a whole lot more sense now.
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Crazy heat makes every one a little cranky and add the Christmas carols, packed shops and the pressures of Christmas…..So, for my fellow Aussies lets be kind to one another. It’s just too hot!!
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y-tJxx72X9U Here’s a summer song for Down Under Christmas! it’s from the cartoon Phineas and Ferb.