Let me guess, you have too many clothes and nothing to wear? There are so many systems for closet clearing, all of them promising freedom from clutter but these systems work about as well as those revolutionary items sold on late night infomercials! I am a hoarder. None of these things work for me. Mummy Ask is a body & style optimist. None of those things work for her. There is an underlying emotional thread here and it’s why you can’t clear the clutter!
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Let’s start with Mummy Ask – The Body & Style Optimist
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If you are in the habit of buying things that don’t quite fit or aren’t really you now but the you you’d like to be, Optimism could be your problem!
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Orphans – Mummy Ask has a ton of what we call orphaned items. They fit, she likes them but they don’t seem to go with anything and thus, they don’t get worn. I’ve encouraged her to wear new items immediately after purchase. That helps you find matches while you are still super in love with your new find, it allows you to see failings (constantly fall off shoulder, is too short without another layer, shrinks in the wash) and fix them or work out if you can deal with them. It also imbeds the new item on your outfit planning memory so you don’t forget you own the damn thing! Existing orphans must be matched and worn this way or you need to consider blessing someone else with it.
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Fit & Fix – If something plain doesn’t fit, see my hoarder info below. But if it fits but doesn’t fit well (pants too long, armhole gaping, shoulder strap too long) consider your love factor. Is it worth a trip to the alteration shop? Can it be worked round (cami under it, different bra, roll it up)? Be honest! If it’s not ‘you’ or you wouldn’t make those efforts, bless someone else.
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Reduce ‘Blessing’ Pains – If you are really like Mummy Ask many items will still have tags or be as new. Stop clocking the financial cost and consider the emotional cost. No one wants to try on 7 different outfits made of orphans and things that don’t work. It makes you feel like your body is wrong, really it’s the clothes. To lessen the blow and really make sure she’s ready to bless, Mummy Ask lays out things she things should leave her on her ottoman. If after a few days she hasn’t found a way to give them new life, she blesses someone else with them.
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And on to me – The Hoarder
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If you keep clothes because you wore them in high school or the day you got a great job or because one day you may loose 20kg & fit your favourite jeans from 2001 or because it once belonged to your mum/gran/friend etc you may be a Hoarder!
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The Size Issue – I’ve had some significant weight gain but I’m sure I don’t need jeans in every size from 8 to 22! Wether you’ve gain or lost, clothes that don’t fit you will defeat you every time you get dressed. I’ve inadvertently worn too tight tops and pulled them down all day. To have anything more than ‘this fits’ & ‘fat day’ clothing is mental madness that will only hurt you. Try it on and bless someone if it’s not your size. If you loose/gain you will not want this old thing. Stern self talk here and nothing else will do. Employ an honest friend if you are too in love with things to see the obvious flaw, they don’t fit.
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I Wore That When – OMG! With unlimited space I’d keep everything! It’s not a dress, it’s a memory. But unless you want to die under boxes of dresses and have your pets eat your face you must limit! I allow 10 sentimental items that are not wearable. I also allow 4 occasion specific, wearable, sentimentals. What I mean by that are things like ball gowns & faux furs that fit and I would wear to a suitable occasion. If it’s sentimental and wearable I must wear it at least 3 times in a year. Or it’s blessed. And that’s it!
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Reduce ‘Blessing’ Pains – I’ve really learnt to get things out of my closet but for years I used a special method to help me loosen my sentimental attachments and bless without tears. As you go through your wardrobe sort the things that won’t be going back in the closet into three piles, unwearable by anyone, blessings, suitcase. Ditch the unwearable, give away the blessings and pack the rest into a suitcase. Store it as you will but I find it best to store it a a friends or family members to help resist the urge to rummage. Keep the suitcase for 6mths to a year, no longer. If you have been able to leave it, forget it and not rummage, have someone take the contents and bless someone else. For you have been without it, not needed it and remembered the memories with our the aid of those garments. Let someone else love them.
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How to Bless Others
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Mummy Ask feels that when she gives away clothes, she is not blessing the recipient but she is blessing herself. Anything outgoing was bought with love and optimism but as it leaves Mummy Ask scrutinizes why it didn’t work. That’s a mistake she hopes to never make again but undeniably it’s been made before and there might be several garments leaving her that are on a theme. What Mummy Ask and I know is that the things we give away will work better on someone else. It may just be the new favourite, worn to death thing for someone else. We give that garment a life. So much better than accruing dust and good intentions in our closets.
There are so many ways to Bless! If you have the time and inclination, sell it on eBay! But if you are giving it away, think about it. Organize a clothes swap with friends or community groups. Hell, charge a cover fee and make it a fundraiser for your school or social group! Shove it in an op shop bin if you like. But remember smaller charities like Junktion who will turn that into something that glues a community together. Lock up mental health wards are often looking for donations for patients who come in with nothing (Margaret Tobin in Adelaide). If you support something, call up and find out how your closet clear out could be their blessing!
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Just remember that the garments you have are not who you are. Wearing a certain thing will never make you a thin, Parisian model. Embrace who you are, show the world who you are with what you wear and never, ever have a standoff with your wardrobe that brings you tears, makes you want to start a diet and buy impractical shoes again!
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